Sasmigbog is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, sage guinea pig.

Sasmigbog created a photon four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sasmigbog, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Sasmigbog, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Sasmigbog's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Sasmigbog's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest yellow.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not fashion tools from platinum.

4. Never cross mountains at midday.

5. Never look in ponds.