Rapnartlarp is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, deceitful faun.

Rapnartlarp created dark matter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Rapnartlarp, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Rapnartlarp, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Rapnartlarp's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Rapnartlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse your hands after touching carbon.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Always treat eagles with great respect.

4. Never mark doors with brown.

5. Never talk about dolphins.