Tettipinfot is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, unsympathetic cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Tettipinfot created Africa three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tettipinfot, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tettipinfot, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Tettipinfot's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Tettipinfot's Holy Commandments

1. Always store beans above ground.

2. You must love Tettipinfot.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Tettipinfot in the centre of the settlement.