Nartbatstragqueegbegsag is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, slow frog.

Nartbatstragqueegbegsag created humanity five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nartbatstragqueegbegsag, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nartbatstragqueegbegsag, it will turn you into a worm.

Nartbatstragqueegbegsag's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Nartbatstragqueegbegsag's Holy Commandments

1. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.

2. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Nartbatstragqueegbegsag on top of all buildings.

3. Do not wear ear rings marked with black.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never write about dark matter.