Fagyikstanpon is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, unjust dryad.

Fagyikstanpon created the planet Jupiter eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fagyikstanpon, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fagyikstanpon, he will cry a lot.

Fagyikstanpon's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Fagyikstanpon's Holy Commandments

1. Never point your arms toward the west during prayer.

2. Always obey Fagyikstanpon's priests.

3. Never look at dwarf planets.

4. Shun those given to cruelty.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.