Ominhadbom is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, selfish clam.

Ominhadbom created tapeworms eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Ominhadbom, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Ominhadbom, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Ominhadbom's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Ominhadbom's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into mauve rooms.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not study chlorophyll on holy days.