Farnmumfarn is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, astonishing hamster.

Farnmumfarn created a quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Farnmumfarn, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Farnmumfarn, it will be very unhappy.

Farnmumfarn's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Farnmumfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always help sick goats.

3. Never touch ash while tainted.

4. Do not contemplate spacetime during the night.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.