Podtargnill Nurfadlan is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, charitable swan.

Podtargnill Nurfadlan created the Sombrero Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Podtargnill Nurfadlan, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Podtargnill Nurfadlan, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Podtargnill Nurfadlan's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Podtargnill Nurfadlan's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mites.

2. Never talk about dark energy.

3. Never think about spacetime near tapirs while wearing red trousers and balancing nine lead spheres on your legs.

4. Swans are not to be trusted.

5. Never talk about planets.