Pinjanbarnfag is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, contented slug.

Pinjanbarnfag created matter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Pinjanbarnfag, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Pinjanbarnfag, he will laugh at you.

Pinjanbarnfag's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Pinjanbarnfag's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate eagles.

2. Do not wear scarves marked with cyan.

3. Always remove kilts before touching titanium.

4. Never talk about chlorophyll.

5. Never talk about electromagnetism near grasshopers while wearing black boots.