Dudquatbun is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, witty goblin.

Dudquatbun created Africa eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Dudquatbun, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dudquatbun, he will not care.

Dudquatbun's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Dudquatbun's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never record signs.

3. Dudquatbun must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Dudquatbun loves geese, so they must be honoured.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Dudquatbun.