Shavomtxenbomnillgudbam is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, merciful crane.

Shavomtxenbomnillgudbam created humankind five million years ago.

If you believe in Shavomtxenbomnillgudbam, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Shavomtxenbomnillgudbam, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Shavomtxenbomnillgudbam's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Shavomtxenbomnillgudbam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about enzymes.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Shavomtxenbomnillgudbam.

3. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

5. Never feed lots of oranges to turtles while wearing gray dresses.