Pogbidgeb is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, emotional turtle.

Pogbidgeb created life five million years ago.

If you believe in Pogbidgeb, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Pogbidgeb, she will turn you into a dog.

Pogbidgeb's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Pogbidgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

3. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

4. Always count to seven before sleeping.

5. Remain kneeling during prayer.