Rularnxinsawkim is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, stupid wolf.

Rularnxinsawkim created a quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rularnxinsawkim, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Rularnxinsawkim, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Rularnxinsawkim's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Rularnxinsawkim's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never sing in holy places.

3. Rularnxinsawkim loves doves, so they must be respected.

4. Always wear brown.

5. Do not covet oxen.