Cisszansom is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, merciless skunk.

Cisszansom created the planet Mars four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cisszansom, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Cisszansom, he will not invite you to parties.

Cisszansom's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Cisszansom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not place apples upon stone.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Always wear plain hats during rituals.

5. Do not travel during spring.