Vilcandut is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, deceitful cow.

Vilcandut created oxygen four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vilcandut, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Vilcandut, it will turn you into a plant.

Vilcandut's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Vilcandut's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not record secrets concerning dwarf planets.

3. Do not name children after swans.

4. Retreat if three mice approach from the south.

5. Never point your arms toward the west during prayer.