Fumtofgov is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, omnipotent centipede.

Fumtofgov created the solar system three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fumtofgov, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fumtofgov, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Fumtofgov's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Fumtofgov's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chant in public.

2. Never think about optics.

3. Never remain kneeling at midday.

4. Never bounce near monkeys.

5. Never look at planets.