Stigvegcedtuntapwab Bonfomtenquam is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, unsympathetic tapir.

Stigvegcedtuntapwab Bonfomtenquam created a down quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stigvegcedtuntapwab Bonfomtenquam, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Stigvegcedtuntapwab Bonfomtenquam, it will be mildly annoyed.

Stigvegcedtuntapwab Bonfomtenquam's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Stigvegcedtuntapwab Bonfomtenquam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion tools from tin.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never eat oranges.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not speak of quantum gravity near sacred fires.