Middogarm is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, selfish mink.

Middogarm created the planet Earth three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Middogarm, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Middogarm, she will turn you into a slug.

Middogarm's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Middogarm's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never sit in autumn.

4. Never gather four dogs in one place.

5. You must pray to Middogarm eight times a day.