Ratpitpak is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, proud coyote.

Ratpitpak created viruses nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ratpitpak, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Ratpitpak, it will strike you with lightening.

Ratpitpak's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Ratpitpak's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about thermodynamics.

2. Do not place turnips upon stone.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near voles while wearing fawn rings and balancing four titanium spheres on your neck.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Ratpitpak.