Badquatarplag is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, confident dog.

Badquatarplag created light two years ago.

If you believe in Badquatarplag, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Badquatarplag, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Badquatarplag's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Badquatarplag's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry ducks.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never speak of balance in the presence of elders.

4. You must never eat wheat.

5. Never bounce in holy places.