Flowdumwig is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, moody tapir.

Flowdumwig created the planet Mars five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flowdumwig, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Flowdumwig, it will strike you with lightening.

Flowdumwig's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Flowdumwig's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak the names of moons aloud.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always make sure there are no sheep in a building before entering it.

4. Do not count beyond four during ceremonies.

5. Never talk about fire.