Damhammif is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, emotional dryad.

Damhammif created a top quark four years ago.

If you believe in Damhammif, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Damhammif, she will turn you into a tree.

Damhammif's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Damhammif's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss amino acids in public assemblies.

2. Do not eat lentils.

3. Erect six copper sculptures of Damhammif on top of important buildings.

4. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a room before entering it.

5. Respect your elders.