Bapwegfen is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, two-faced chinchilla.

Bapwegfen created a photon four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bapwegfen, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bapwegfen, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Bapwegfen's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Bapwegfen's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your legs with purple.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never write about enzymes.

4. Dolphins are not to be trusted.

5. You must love Bapwegfen.