Hakjabsabhab is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, staggering butterfly.

Hakjabsabhab created an up quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Hakjabsabhab, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Hakjabsabhab, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Hakjabsabhab's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Hakjabsabhab's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not kill dogs.

3. Never feed beans to pigs while wearing skirts.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never eat rice.