Funtamcim is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, humorless troll.

Funtamcim created oxygen seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Funtamcim, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Funtamcim, she will come to you in dreams.

Funtamcim's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Funtamcim's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear gray.

2. Never wear stockings.

3. Always act with obedience.

4. Never feed beans to whales while wearing rings.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.