Sagfarnquag is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, awesome fairy.

Sagfarnquag created a strange quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sagfarnquag, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sagfarnquag, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Sagfarnquag's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Sagfarnquag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Always remove hats before entering holy places.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never talk about dark energy near doves while wearing violet stockings and balancing four platinum spheres on your face.

5. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Sagfarnquag on top of all buildings.