Pigkemrak Jabbitfud is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, unsympathetic fish.

Pigkemrak Jabbitfud created a Higgs boson nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pigkemrak Jabbitfud, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Pigkemrak Jabbitfud, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Pigkemrak Jabbitfud's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Pigkemrak Jabbitfud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear magenta clothing.

2. Never write about dwarf planets.

3. Always help sick monkeys.

4. Never eat spinach on fasting days.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.