Fetnegquart is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, tiresome dove.

Fetnegquart created viruses two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetnegquart, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fetnegquart, he will throw large rocks at you.

Fetnegquart's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Fetnegquart's Holy Commandments

1. Never adorn your neck with blue markings.

2. Shun those given to greed.

3. Always wash your back before prayer.

4. Always look after injured cats.

5. Do not wear titanium on your body.