Midsomzig is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, self-assured swallow.

Midsomzig created an up quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Midsomzig, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Midsomzig, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Midsomzig's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Midsomzig's Holy Commandments

1. Always help porpoises in need.

2. Do not wear corsets marked with purple.

3. Never jump in the presence of elders.

4. Remain prostrate during prayer.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.