Quatripveen Flaghivhin is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, resourceful grasshopper.

Quatripveen Flaghivhin created the planet Venus two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatripveen Flaghivhin, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Quatripveen Flaghivhin, it will curse you with boils.

Quatripveen Flaghivhin's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Quatripveen Flaghivhin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Always act with humility when addressing elders.

3. Always remove boots before touching platinum.

4. Never mention ducks.

5. Do not speak sacred words in spring.