Bedquimfot is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, caring wren.

Bedquimfot created an up quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bedquimfot, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Bedquimfot, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Bedquimfot's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Bedquimfot's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Bedquimfot.

2. Never feed lots of carrots to dogs while wearing purple kilts.

3. Birds are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Hide from indigo whales for they are unholy.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.