Wapjig is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, ill-tempered wyvern.

Wapjig created matter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Wapjig, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Wapjig, she will turn you into a dog.

Wapjig's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Wapjig's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse your hands after touching silicon.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never wear white corsets on sacred days.

4. Wapjig must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.