Jabvanrip is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, capable troll.

Jabvanrip created Mount Everest six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jabvanrip, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Jabvanrip, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Jabvanrip's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Jabvanrip's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick foxes.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jabvanrip.

4. Do not record names concerning dwarf planets.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jabvanrip.