Cetdodtonsig Gilwitzak Tarpfubmon is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, fast horse.

Cetdodtonsig Gilwitzak Tarpfubmon created the Cigar Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cetdodtonsig Gilwitzak Tarpfubmon, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Cetdodtonsig Gilwitzak Tarpfubmon, he will not invite you to parties.

Cetdodtonsig Gilwitzak Tarpfubmon's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Cetdodtonsig Gilwitzak Tarpfubmon's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.

2. Do not study ribonucleic acid on holy days.

3. Never mark doors with turquoise.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force near mice while wearing yellow coats and balancing eight platinum spheres on your face.

5. Never play with disobedient children.