Tifhabwot is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, sage finch.

Tifhabwot created water twelve years ago.

If you believe in Tifhabwot, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tifhabwot, she will turn you into a puffin.

Tifhabwot's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Tifhabwot's Holy Commandments

1. Always share figs with strangers, but never with shrews.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never sit near grasshopers.

4. Never eat spinach on holy days.

5. Never speak the names of black holes aloud.