Artcinquaf Dincunjab is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, moody squirrel.

Artcinquaf Dincunjab created the planet Venus three billion years ago.

If you believe in Artcinquaf Dincunjab, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Artcinquaf Dincunjab, she will laugh at you.

Artcinquaf Dincunjab's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Artcinquaf Dincunjab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear tin on your body.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory near dogs while wearing yellow trousers.

3. Do not speak about rice.

4. Always maintain humility during days of mourning.

5. Never think ill of sick whales.