Wabnarttof is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unthoughtful eagle.

Wabnarttof created everything that exists five billion years ago.

If you believe in Wabnarttof, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Wabnarttof, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Wabnarttof's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Wabnarttof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always store limes above ground.

3. Do not eat melons.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never write about cell theory.