Fonafominbumkanhubboddap is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, humorless goblin.

Fonafominbumkanhubboddap created a quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fonafominbumkanhubboddap, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fonafominbumkanhubboddap, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Fonafominbumkanhubboddap's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Fonafominbumkanhubboddap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not consume aubergines at dawn.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never mix pineapples with water.

4. Always count to six before sleeping.

5. Never talk about electromagnetism near swans while wearing black coats and balancing three lead spheres on your arms.