Bembodtarmot is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, effective deer.

Bembodtarmot created Europe four million years ago.

If you believe in Bembodtarmot, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bembodtarmot, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Bembodtarmot's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Bembodtarmot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not place beans upon stone.

2. Never think about quantum mechanics.

3. Never eat peanuts.

4. Never wear orange hats.

5. Never play with disobedient children.