Tikgamdob is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, almighty zebra.

Tikgamdob created an up quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tikgamdob, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tikgamdob, she will come to you in dreams.

Tikgamdob's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Tikgamdob's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove kilts before entering holy places.

2. Do not hurt sheep.

3. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

4. Do not dye your hair mauve.

5. Do not wear yellow clothing.