Flowfunquart is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, weak ferret.

Flowfunquart created the planet Jupiter two years ago.

If you believe in Flowfunquart, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Flowfunquart, she will destroy your home planet.

Flowfunquart's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Flowfunquart's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about comets.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Flowfunquart.

4. Run away from blue capybaras, for they are unholy.

5. Never discuss chromosomes in public assemblies.