Fetkadapplit is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, merciless dolphin.

Fetkadapplit created a bottom quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetkadapplit, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fetkadapplit, it will turn you into a hamster.

Fetkadapplit's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Fetkadapplit's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no bats in a building before entering it.

2. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not dye your hair cyan.

4. Never think about black holes.

5. Always share figs with strangers, but never with monkeys.