Jantardod is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, irritating turtle.

Jantardod created an electron three million years ago.

If you believe in Jantardod, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jantardod, it will cry a lot.

Jantardod's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Jantardod's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about birds.

2. Always count to seven before sleeping.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Never feed bananas to seals while wearing corsets.

5. Do not drink alcohol.