Gedbonkzag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, merciful eagle.

Gedbonkzag created life nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gedbonkzag, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gedbonkzag, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Gedbonkzag's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Gedbonkzag's Holy Commandments

1. Never pray while filled with joy.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never think ill of sick turtles.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never mark doors with cyan.