Zignuttmum is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, prudent weasel.

Zignuttmum created a charm quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Zignuttmum, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zignuttmum, she will manifest in front of you.

Zignuttmum's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Zignuttmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lentils to squirrels while wearing skirts.

2. Do not eat apples.

3. You must love Zignuttmum.

4. Never sprint in holy places.

5. Always remove hats before touching silicon.