Labvidfig is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, generous gnu.

Labvidfig created dark matter five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Labvidfig, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Labvidfig, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Labvidfig's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Labvidfig's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch oil while blessed.

2. Never cross rivers at midday.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never talk about fluid mechanics near doves while wearing purple stockings.

5. Fast once a month.