Tallitwitrul Hampanglam is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, quiet shrew.

Tallitwitrul Hampanglam created time and space nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tallitwitrul Hampanglam, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tallitwitrul Hampanglam, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Tallitwitrul Hampanglam's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Tallitwitrul Hampanglam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair black.

2. Do not record signs concerning asteroids.

3. Learn seven new languages a year.

4. Do not speak of thermodynamics near sacred fires.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.