Bantikken is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, stupid hamster.

Bantikken created the Virgo Supercluster eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bantikken, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bantikken, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Bantikken's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Bantikken's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three badgers approach from the east.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always wear yellow.

4. Always help pigs in need.

5. Never talk about ultrasonics near horses while wearing red coats and balancing five zinc spheres on your hands.