Vagflatbast is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, awe-inspiring snake.

Vagflatbast created an electron eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vagflatbast, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Vagflatbast, he will turn you into a puffin.

Vagflatbast's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Vagflatbast's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. You must never eat garlic.

3. Always help sick porpoises.

4. Erect a giant gray sculpture of Vagflatbast in the centre of the settlement.

5. Fast once a month.