Gammumkikvil is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, unselfish seal.

Gammumkikvil created a charm quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gammumkikvil, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Gammumkikvil, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Gammumkikvil's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Gammumkikvil's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse your hands after touching titanium.

2. Do not eat carrots.

3. Never eat peanuts on fasting days.

4. Do not prepare tomatoes while wearing rings.

5. Do not step barefoot upon pink earth.